After losing a close friend of mine in March, countless condolences followed. Appreciating the acknowledgement for my loss, I thanked each and every kind person for their words of sympathy, noting that it was not just my loss, but every other person on the planet’s loss who didn’t have the opportunity to meet my firey friend.
But, as I told each of them as well, the loss of Suzanna still hadn’t hit me. The days, weeks and months went by and I had yet to grasp the fact that her time here really was up.
Casually driving to work, I was stuck in traffic on the 405 (as usual) but ready for an exciting day back after being on vacation for the weekend, when this song came on and suddenly I was overcome by Suzanna’s presence there, in the car right with me, but also undeniably absent from this world:
Stars :: Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
(Excuse the cheesy video)
I listen to this song all the time (Grace Potter and the Nocturnals are such a sick band — I highly recommend them) and never has it struck me to my core like today.
So, why now?
Maybe it’s because enough time has passed that I know she’s not coming back, maybe it’s because two years ago today we we’re leaving our Washington, D.C. adventure together, or maybe it’s because her soul has finally crossed over and she’s able to connect with me.
I don’t know.
What I do know for sure is that her spirit was there with me, stuck in traffic on the f*&#ing 405, flipping off the car that just cut me, and telling me she loved me a dozen times over.
I’m sure if you’ve lost a loved one (some of you at least) have had a moment like what I experienced today.
Whether or not you chose to accept what has happened, or continueto be frustrated by their truancy in your life now, I’d risk saying that that moment when you feel their presence, that’s when a miracle is really happening, because in that moment, it really is them, and I can almost guarantee that every time what they’re trying to say is that they love you — that you are loved.
Having felt my bada$$ (she’s probably cursing my name seeing my tacky use of dollar signs in my post right now) with me all day long, and considering my love of music, I decided to share a few songs with you that make me feel her with me.
Enjoy peeps, she’d want you to turn it up REAL loud.
Childish Gambino :: Firefly
Dance Gavin Dance :: Blue Dream (even though she could never get me to listen to them…)
Dance Gavin Dance :: Pounce Bounce (and this is why…. she was a total metal head!)
Joe Cocker :: Have a Little Faith in Me
Chromeo :: Bonafied Lovin’ (Because she was borderline appalled by my love of “CHROMEO?!”)
The Beatles :: A Little Help From My Friends
Basically Suze was AWESOME.
I encourage you to live a big life, and in honor someone who can’t be here with you,
be epic enough for the both of you.